10Q/Ci2 Citizenship: 12 Mark Evaluation Feedback (16 year olds voting)

Marking Overview

Total Scripts:
32

Question:
Which view do you agree with more? (12 marks)

Marks:
12 marks

Average Grade:
?/12

Success Criteria for a 12-Mark Answer

This guide is based on an analysis of a real student script that scored 12/12. It shows what is needed to reach the top marks.

Length and Structure: Aim for a concise and focused answer of around **300-320 words**. The best answers follow a clear 3 or 4 paragraph structure: an introduction, one or two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Start with a Clear Judgement: Your first paragraph must directly answer the question ("Which view do you agree with more?"). State your final judgement clearly and briefly introduce the main reason why.
Evaluate, Don't Just Summarise: The main body of your answer should not just describe what each source says. You must actively **evaluate** by:
- Directly comparing the two arguments and explaining which is stronger or weaker.
- Critiquing the quality of the evidence used (e.g., is it based on **facts and statistics** or just **opinion**?).
- Considering the potential bias or limited perspective of the writers.
Use Your Own Knowledge: To reach the highest marks, you should bring in **one or two specific examples or pieces of factual knowledge** from outside the sources to support your evaluation and strengthen your argument.
Write a Powerful Conclusion: Your final paragraph should not simply repeat your introduction. It should summarise your key evaluative points and provide a final, reasoned justification for why one argument is fundamentally more persuasive than the other.

Source Texts for this Assignment

Writer A: Alex Chen - "Give Young People a Real Voice"

Young people deserve a much stronger voice in how our country is run. At 16, you can work, pay taxes, and even vote in some elections, yet most political decisions are made by older politicians who won't live with the long-term consequences of their choices. Climate change is the perfect example. While older generations created this crisis, it's young people who will face rising sea levels, extreme weather, and environmental destruction for decades to come. Yet when young climate protesters take action, they're often dismissed or even arrested rather than listened to. The voting age should be lowered to 16 for all elections. Young people today are more informed than ever before, with instant access to news and political information through social media. Many 16-year-olds understand political issues better than adults who don't bother to research before voting. Schools should also teach more about how government actually works - not just boring facts about parliament, but real skills like how to campaign for change, how to contact your MP, and how to organize protests. When young people feel excluded from politics, they become frustrated and disconnected from democracy. Politicians constantly make decisions about education, youth services, and future job prospects without properly consulting the people most affected. If we want young people to believe in democracy, we need to give them real power to influence the decisions that shape their lives.

Writer B: Sarah Williams - "Experience Matters in Democracy"

While young people's opinions are important, lowering the voting age and giving teenagers more political power would be a serious mistake that could damage our democratic system. Politics involves incredibly complex decisions about economics, international relations, and social policy that require real-world experience to understand properly. A 16-year-old might feel passionate about an issue, but they haven't yet experienced paying taxes, running a business, raising children, or dealing with the practical realities of adult life that politics directly affects. Young people are also more likely to be influenced by social media trends and celebrity opinions rather than carefully researching policies. Their views can change rapidly as they mature and gain life experience. Many adults look back at their teenage political opinions and realize how naive or one-sided they were. Our current system already gives young people appropriate ways to participate - through school councils, youth parliaments, and campaigning groups. These provide valuable experience without giving voting power to people who aren't yet fully responsible for supporting themselves or others. The minimum voting age of 18 makes sense because it aligns with other adult responsibilities like signing contracts and making independent financial decisions. Democracy works best when voters have enough life experience to understand the real consequences of political choices, not just the idealistic goals that appeal to younger people. Rather than lowering voting ages, we should focus on better political education so that when young people do reach 18, they're truly prepared to vote responsibly.

Select Student to View Marked Work:

Model Answer - Grade: 12/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree more with Writer B, Sarah Williams, that the voting age should not be lowered. Although Writer A makes a compelling case based on principle, Williams’s argument is more convincing because it is grounded in the practical realities of adolescent development and the potential risks to the democratic system.A clear introduction that states the final judgement and the core reason why.

Writer A’s main argument rests on the idea of fairness.Good analysis of Writer A, showing understanding of the historical principle behind the argument. He argues that since 16-year-olds can pay taxes, they deserve a voice in how that money is spent, a modern take on 'no taxation without representation'. He also claims young people are more "informed" due to social media and must live with the "long-term consequences" of decisions like those on climate change. While these points are valid in theory, they are weakened by their lack of context.This is a strong evaluative phrase that introduces a critique. For example, very few 16-year-olds pay income tax on a level comparable to full-time adult workers, which somewhat undermines the central pillar of his argument.This is excellent use of own knowledge to effectively challenge the source's main point.

In contrast, Sarah Williams's argument is more persuasive because it focuses on the potential for harm.This paragraph clearly explains and supports the preferred viewpoint. Her point that lowering the voting age would be a "serious mistake" is supported by her claim that teenagers lack "real-world experience" and are easily "influenced by social media trends and celebrity opinions". This is a stronger argument because it acknowledges the reality of political campaigning and the power of social media to spread misinformation, which can lead to uninformed or emotionally-driven voting. Unlike Writer A's focus on rights, Williams prioritises the stability of the "democratic system", arguing that mature decision-making is essential for it to function correctly.Another excellent evaluative comparison of the two writers' priorities.

In conclusion, I agree more with Sarah Williams. Her argument is more compelling because the risk of damaging democracy with an easily influenced and inexperienced electorate is a greater threat than the injustice of denying the vote to a small number of 16-year-olds who pay tax.The conclusion weighs the two arguments directly against each other and explains why one outweighs the other, providing a final, reasoned judgement. The stability of the democratic process should be the highest priority.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths of this Model Answer

**Concise & Focused:** It is approximately 315 words long, similar to a real exam answer.
**Evaluative Throughout:** It constantly compares the two sources and makes judgements.
**Uses Own Knowledge:** It brings in external facts (about the level of tax paid by 16-year-olds) to support its points.
**Critiques Evidence:** It assesses the *quality* of the arguments (principle vs. practical risk).

🔄 How this answer gets top marks

It moves beyond simple summary to build a coherent and critical argument.
The conclusion is a powerful summary of the evaluation, directly explaining why one source is more convincing than the other.
It demonstrates all the key skills of analysis, comparison, and evaluation required for a Level 4 (10-12 marks) response.

Next Steps: Aim to replicate this style in your own answers. Focus not just on what the sources say, but on which source makes a better, more convincing, or better-supported argument, and explain your reasoning clearly.

Grade: 12/12 marks - A concise, well-structured, and highly evaluative response that uses own knowledge.

4570 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 10/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with Sarah WilliamsA very clear start that states your position. on the fact who argues that experience matters in a democracy and that lowering the voting age would be a serious mistake.You accurately summarise the source's core argument. Politics involves complex decisions that require real-world experience such as paying taxes, running a business e.t.c. However Alex Chan argues that younger people deserve a stronger voice in society because they will henceforth live with the long-term consequences of political decisions, particularly regarding climate change.Excellent - you are now showing a balanced view by clearly and accurately analysing the main argument from the other source. On the other hand, Sarah counters that young people are most likely to be influenced by social media trends and their views can change really easily and quickly.This is a great piece of evaluation. You are directly setting the two arguments against each other, showing the debate between them. Alex also suggests that young people of today are more informative and hereby...

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have an excellent, balanced structure that clearly explains arguments from both sides.
You show strong evaluative skill by directly comparing the arguments ("Sarah counters...").
You accurately identify the key points from both sources.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

This is an outstanding start and is on track for a top grade.
To finish, you need a concluding paragraph that makes a final judgement. You need to explain *why* Sarah's argument about inexperience and influence is more convincing to you than Alex's argument about long-term consequences.

Next Steps: You have the perfect foundation. Your conclusion should start: "In conclusion, I agree more with Sarah Williams. Although Alex Chan makes a valid point that young people face the long-term consequences of political decisions, this is outweighed by the risk of them being easily influenced by social media, which could lead to poor decisions that make those long-term consequences even worse."

Projected Grade: 10/12 - An excellent, well-structured, and evaluative start. Just needs a conclusion.

4442 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 8/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer B the most.A good start, stating your view. Writer B highlights the immaturity and naiveness of people who are under 16, and states "Lowering the voting age... would be a serious mistake".Good analysis supported with a well-chosen quote. Writer B proves this the by awknowledging how influenced young people are by social media trendsThis is a key part of her argument., which could lead to biased voting in elections. However writer B states how people under the age of 16 don't have enough life experience to be involved politicaly, but 16 year olds now days are able to get jobs and even vote in some elections.This is an excellent piece of evaluation. You are challenging Writer B's argument by bringing in a counter-point from Writer A. This shows you are thinking critically. On the other hand, some may agree more with writer A.Good, you are now clearly analysing the other source to provide a balanced argument. Writer A argues that 16 year olds should have the right to be involved politicaly. Writer A shows this when they state, 'if we want young people to belive in democracy, we need to give them the real power to influence the decisions that shape their lives'.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear structure and analyse arguments from both sources.
You show good evaluation skills by using a point from one source to challenge the other.
You use quotes effectively to support your points.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have all the right components, but your argument is a little confused. You say you agree with Writer B, but then you use Writer A's point to prove her wrong. You need to be consistent.
You are missing a conclusion where you make your final judgement and explain your reasoning.

Next Steps: You have great skills. To improve, plan your argument first. If you agree with Writer B, you should present Writer A's points and then explain why they are *weaker* than B's. Then write a conclusion that summarises this judgement.

Projected Grade: 8/12 - A well-analysed answer with good evaluation, but the overall argument is inconsistent.

4481 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 7/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I aggre with writer B the mostA clear start stating your view. because young people are not mature enough yet to make big desisons like voting. For example wh Sarah mentions "many adults look back on their teenage political oppions and realize how naive or one sided they were".Good use of a quote to support your point. This shows how back when that teens oppions are not mature enough to vote. However writer A states "if yong people will face rising sea levels exteme weathe and enviromend descrocion for decade to come".You are now bringing in the other source to create a balanced argument. Excellent. this shows yong people should have a say because older people will not be facing the outcomes in the future.Good analysis of the source's argument, explaining it clearly in your own words.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a very clear and well-structured answer.
You analyse arguments from both sources accurately.
You use quotes effectively as evidence for your points.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have done a good job of analysing (explaining) the sources. The next step is to evaluate them.
You need to add a conclusion that weighs the two arguments against each other. Explain *why* Writer B's point about immaturity is more important or convincing than Writer A's point about long-term consequences.

Next Steps: You have the analysis part done well. Now, to get into the top marks, you need to add evaluation. Your conclusion could say something like: "In conclusion, I agree more with Writer B. Although Writer A is right that young people will face future problems, Writer B's argument is stronger because decisions made by immature and naive voters could create even worse problems for the future."

Projected Grade: 7/12 - A well-structured answer with good analysis of both sources. Needs evaluation.

4539 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 10/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I most agree with Sarah Williams, due to the one-sided or naive political opinions mosts teenagers have.A very strong and confident start to your essay. One reason why I agree with Sarah Williams more than Alex Chen is because teenagers haven't faced the practical realities of adult lifeExcellent, clear explanation of the main argument. that politics directly affects. For example, a 16 year old hasn't experienced paying taxes, raising children or running a business.Good use of specific examples from the source to illustrate your point. This highlights the gap in experience. Although, some people may disagree, as young people are more informed than ever before, they could get instant access to news and political information through social media.Perfect. You are showing a balanced argument by analysing the counter-viewpoint fairly and accurately. This point highlights the increase and the high level of knowledge that most teenagers have. This means that some teenagers are able to understand political issues better than adults who don't bother research before voting.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have an excellent, balanced structure that analyses both sides of the argument clearly.
Your writing is formal, confident, and analytical.
You show a deep understanding of the key arguments from both sources.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have produced a perfect foundation for a top-level essay. The only thing missing is the final step.
You need to add a concluding paragraph where you weigh the two arguments you have analysed against each other and explain *why* Williams's argument about a "gap in experience" is more significant than Chen's argument about a "high level of knowledge".

Next Steps: You are clearly on track for a top grade. To finish this answer, write a conclusion that starts: "In conclusion, while it is true that modern teenagers are more informed than ever before, I still agree most with Sarah Williams. The 'real-world' experience she discusses is more important than theoretical knowledge, as it provides the maturity needed to make complex decisions that affect the whole country."

Projected Grade: 10/12 - An outstanding start with excellent structure and analysis.

4575 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 5/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

On one hand people may agree with Alex Chen.This is a reasonable way to start, but you should state your own overall judgement in the introduction. This is because younger people will have to face the long term consequences of the older generation, for example, climate change, rising sea level, extreme weathers and enviromental destruction.Good analysis of a key argument from Writer A, with good use of examples. Allowing younger people to vote will help them understand how to resolve these issues alot quicker in the future. On the other hand, people may believe that experience is better in a democracy. This is because 16 year olds can be easily influenced by social media.Good - you are now clearly analysing the main argument from the other source. However, with older people they understand more and won't be influenced by unreliable sources so easily. This makes younger people an easier target for people to influence, leadthy them to make bad decisions.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear, balanced structure and analyse points from both sources.
You explain the arguments in your own words, showing good understanding.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have not answered the question. You need to state which writer *you* agree with most. Your answer just summarises the two sides.
You need to add a conclusion that makes a clear judgement and explains why one argument is more convincing than the other.

Note: You are excellent at explaining what the sources say. The next step is to give your own judgement (evaluation).

Improved Structure:

Start your essay with your judgement: "I agree more with Writer B, Sarah Williams."

Then, use your existing paragraphs to explain the two sides.

Finally, add a conclusion: "In conclusion, although Writer A makes a valid point about long-term consequences, I find Writer B's argument more persuasive. The risk of young people being influenced by unreliable sources on social media is a greater danger to democracy."

Next Steps: Always start your essay by directly answering the question. Make a clear choice, and then use your analysis of the sources to justify that choice.

Projected Grade: 5/12 - A good summary of both sources, but contains no evaluation or personal judgement.

4505 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 4/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with Writer B "Experience matters in Democracy".A clear start stating your view. This is because teenager's wouldn't understand that much. A better alternative would be to do applications for teenagers that want to vote and why to give teenagers a better feeling.This is your own idea for a solution, but the question asks you to analyse the arguments in the text. Try to stick to what the sources say. Another reason why agree is because teenagers will mainly follow social media causing young children to make the wrong decisions.This is a good analysis of a key point from Writer B. when voting in political votey they will also be infulenced by there family and friends teaching them the wrong inperation. The final reason I disny agree is because teenagers don't have the ability to work properly or being independent including paying for thereself or having there own house paying bills.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view.
You understand and can explain the main arguments from Writer B.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Your answer is completely one-sided. For a 12-mark question, you MUST analyse the arguments from Writer A as well.
The answer relies heavily on your own opinions. You need to focus more on explaining what the sources actually say.

Next Steps: To get a higher mark, you must provide a balanced argument. Read the question carefully - it says "referring to arguments made in **both parts** of the source". You need to add a paragraph where you fairly explain the arguments made by Writer A, even if you don't agree with them.

Projected Grade: 4/12 - A one-sided answer that fails to engage with the second source.

2345 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 9/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer A because young people are the ones that suffer consequences of the voting polls.A clear start stating your view. It is young people that will live with the long-term consequences of these actions - a major example of this being climate change.Excellent analysis of a key point from the source, developed with a strong example. Though climate change was kickstarted by Gen X, Gen Z are the main ones suffering the damage of climate change. If 16 year olds can pay taxes and take up much responsibility they should be allowed to vote for their feature future.Good analysis of the 'taxation' argument. However, it can be argued as genuine understanding towards politics resulted in the younger generation will lead to voting misunderstandings.Perfect - you are now showing balance by analysing the counter-argument from the other source. Many do not truly understand the severity of the decision they are making. This may lead to future regisks. Instead a focus should be put on political education.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have an excellent, balanced structure, analysing arguments from both sources.
Your analysis is strong and well-supported by examples.
You show a clear understanding of the key issues in the debate.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have a fantastic foundation. The only missing ingredient is a concluding paragraph.
You need to weigh the two arguments against each other and explain why Writer A's points about 'long-term consequences' and 'paying taxes' are more convincing to you than Writer B's points about 'misunderstandings'.

Next Steps: You are on track for a top mark. Your conclusion should summarise your judgement. For example: "In conclusion, I agree more with Writer A. While Writer B raises a valid concern about political misunderstandings, this problem can be solved with better education. The fundamental injustice of denying a vote to young people who will live with the consequences of decisions for decades to come is the more powerful argument."

Projected Grade: 9/12 - A strong, well-structured, and well-analysed answer that just needs a conclusion.

4577 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 3/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with both of them to an extent.This is a weak opening. The question asks you to choose who you agree with *most*. You must make a clear judgement. With writer A she said "Give young people a real voice". I agree with this as some children have a lot of potential with higher things and could help change the world.You are explaining the argument here in your own words, which is good. The writer says points saying that although older generation create the problems, its the younger generations who will have to fix it. The writer states saying that the voting age should be lowered to 16, and that we have more developed access to education than adults.You are listing points from the source, but not explaining them in much detail. Although I also agree with writer B to an extent as they say that "experience matters in democracy".Good, you are bringing in the other source. I believe that...

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You are attempting to engage with both sources.
You have identified some of the key arguments from the texts.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have not answered the question. You must decide which writer you agree with most.
Your answer is mostly a list of points from the text with little explanation or analysis.
The structure is poor and there is no conclusion.

Next Steps: Your first step must be to make a clear judgement in your introduction (e.g. "I agree more with Writer A"). Then, use your paragraphs to explain the arguments from both sides and use your conclusion to explain why you chose one over the other.

Projected Grade: 3/12 - A simple summary of some points that fails to answer the question.

4479 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 7/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree more with writer A because it gives the younger generation a chance to change the future.A clear start with a good reason for your choice. Allowing 16+ year olds allows them to vote for political parties that will actually benefit them.Good analysis of the source's main point. If this were to happen there could be an increase in expenditure in education.This is an interesting point, but it's not made in the source text. Try to focus on analysing the arguments provided. Therefore, I agree because it gives the younger generation to choose something they want and not the other older generation. Another reason why I agree with Writer A is it allows the younger generation's voice to be heard.Good. Writer A claims that giving protestors a voice instead of them getting arrested or dismissed. If we were to vote we could change a certain issues in the country, like climate change. However, others may disagree with Writer A and agree with Writer B as the younger generation doesn't have enough experience.Excellent - you are now showing balance by bringing in the counter-argument from the other source. For example, people who are 18+ experience life better as they pay taxes and run...

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view and a good structure, analysing both sources.
You explain the arguments from the text in your own words.
You understand the key points of the debate.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Your analysis sometimes strays from the source text and includes your own opinions (e.g., about education spending). To get top marks, you must focus on analysing the arguments *in the source*.
You are missing a conclusion where you weigh the two arguments against each other and explain why A is more convincing.

Next Steps: Your structure is good. Make sure every point you make is directly linked to an argument from one of the two writers. To finish, add a conclusion explaining why Writer A's points about having a voice are more important than Writer B's points about experience.

Projected Grade: 7/12 - A well-structured answer that needs to focus more on the source text and add a conclusion.

3456 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 8/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with Writer two.A clear start stating your view. Note: it's better to use the writer's name (Sarah Williams) than "Writer two". The reason is I believe young people are too inexperienced and lack knowledge of older people. Young people haven't witnessed the practical realities of adult life - paying taxes. Older people have been on the Earth longer meaning they have the knowledge of previous mistakes in parliament.This is a strong analysis of the 'experience' argument, developed with your own reasoning. Lowering the voting age and giving teenagers more political power would be a "serious mistake" that could damage our democratic system.Good use of a quote to support your point. Democracy works best when voters have enough life experience to understand the consequences of political choices.This is a good point, but it feels like your own opinion. Try to link it more closely to what the source actually says. Young people often have idealistic goals that most of the time won't come true.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view and have analysed your preferred source in detail.
You use quotes from the text effectively.
You have developed the source's arguments with your own logical reasoning.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Your answer is one-sided. To get a high mark in a 12-mark question, you MUST analyse the arguments from the other source as well.
You need to add a conclusion that makes a final judgement after considering both sides.

Note: To get top marks, you must show the examiner that you have understood the other side of the argument, even if you disagree with it.

Improved Structure:

After you have explained why you agree with Sarah Williams, you need to add a paragraph like this:

"On the other hand, Writer A presents a strong counter-argument. He claims that since 16-year-olds can pay taxes, they deserve a vote, and that they will have to live with the long-term consequences of decisions. While this is a fair point about justice, it is less convincing than Williams's argument because it overlooks the practical risk that inexperienced voters could make poor decisions, harming the country's future.This shows you can analyse the other side fairly before dismissing it."

Next Steps: Always create a balanced argument. A good rule for a 12-mark question is to dedicate one paragraph to Source A, one paragraph to Source B, and a final paragraph for your conclusion.

Projected Grade: 8/12 - An excellent and well-developed analysis of one side of the argument, but needs to be balanced.

4567 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 2/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with both of them to an extent.This is a weak opening. The question asks you to choose who you agree with *most*. You must make a clear judgement. With writer A she said "Give young people a real voice".Good use of a quote. I agree with this as some children have a lot of potential with higher things and could help change the world. The writer says points saying that although older generation create the problems, its the younger generations who will have to fix it. The writer states saying that the voting age should be lowered to 16, and that we have more developed access to education than adults.You are listing points from the source, but not explaining them in much detail. Although I also agree with writer B to an extent as they say that "experience matters in democracy".Good, you are bringing in the other source. I believe that...

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You are attempting to engage with both sources.
You have identified some of the key arguments from the texts.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have not answered the question. You must decide which writer you agree with most.
Your answer is mostly a list of points from the text with little explanation or analysis.
The structure is poor and there is no conclusion.

Projected Grade: 2/12 - A simple summary of some points that fails to answer the question.

4321 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 8/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I mostly agree with writer A,A clear start stating your view. this is because in the quote statement, "Many 16 year olds understand political issues better than adults who dont bother research before voting".Good use of a quote as evidence. it proves a point proving young kids are more capable than adults. Sometimes they have even work in mechan meaning they have matured and can do things adults can do.This is a good point from your own knowledge that supports the source's argument about young people having adult responsibilities. You can also challenge their point as most kids are immature and the voting results could become inaccurate as some will vote for random people.This is an excellent piece of evaluation. You are acknowledging a potential weakness in the argument you support, which shows you are thinking critically.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view and analyse your preferred source in detail.
You use your own knowledge and arguments to both support and challenge the source, which is a high-level skill.
You are thinking critically and evaluatively.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Your answer is one-sided. To get a top mark, you must also analyse the arguments from the other source (Writer B / Sarah Williams).
You need to add a conclusion that makes a final judgement after considering both sides.

Next Steps: You have excellent evaluation skills. To improve, make sure you provide a balanced argument by adding a paragraph that explains the key arguments from Writer B before you write your conclusion.

Projected Grade: 8/12 - An excellent and highly evaluative analysis of one source, but the answer needs to be balanced.

5678 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 6/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer B Sarah Williams that experience matters in a democracy because it allows people the chance to grow before voting in an election.A clear start stating your view. This is needed as when you turn 18 you will be expected to do other adult responsibilities, so it makes sense to start doing at 18 as your brain would be more developed. For example, someone under the age of 18 may make irrational decisions in comparison to an 18 year old.Good analysis where you explain the logic of the source's argument in your own words. On the other hand, although some people under the age of 18 may be passionate towards politics... the ideas may not be logical and may be biased on some social media.This is a good point, but it's not a counter-argument. It actually supports Writer B's view. You need to explain the argument from Writer A. Also passionate people who can't vote can still express their views on social media or speeches e.g. Greta Thunberg.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view and have analysed the arguments of your preferred writer in detail.
You use your own examples (Greta Thunberg) and reasoning to support your points.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Your answer is one-sided. You MUST analyse the arguments from the other source (Writer A) to get a high mark.
You need to add a conclusion where you make a final judgement after considering both sides.

Next Steps: You are good at explaining your own ideas. Now you need to show you can explain the ideas in the text. Add a paragraph that explains Writer A's arguments (e.g., paying taxes, long-term consequences) before writing a conclusion where you explain why you find Writer B's arguments more persuasive.

Projected Grade: 6/12 - A well-developed analysis of one source, but the answer is one-sided.

4575 (Paper 2) - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 5/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

However, another reason why people may agree with giving young people a real voice is because schools dont teach alot on real skills like how to campaign, contact your MP or organise protests.This is a reasonable point, but it doesn't clearly link to either source. Try to focus on the arguments provided in the text. This makes younger people disconnected from their democracy.A good point about political engagement. Another reason why people believe experience matters in democracy is because young children do not understand how to handle adult responsibilities such as making financial desicisions, paying taxes, raising children.This is an excellent, clear analysis of the main argument from Writer B. This makes them not mature enough to handle government decisions and it could lead to bad voting decisions. In conclusion I believe younger people shouldn't be able to vote.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view stated in your conclusion.
Your analysis of Writer B's argument is very clear and well-explained.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You need to state your overall judgement in the introduction, not just the conclusion.
Your analysis of Writer A is very weak and doesn't seem to be based on the source text. You need to explain his actual arguments (taxes, long-term consequences).

Next Steps: Plan your answer to have a clear introduction, one paragraph analysing Writer A, one paragraph analysing Writer B, and a conclusion. Make sure your analysis is based on the points the writers actually make.

Projected Grade: 5/12 - Good analysis of one source, but very weak analysis of the other.

4388 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 5/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

Personally, I agree with writer B (Sarah Williams).A clear start stating your view. Since arguments such as influence can severly change the ourcome of an election. Firstly, celebrity opinion can influence 16 year old to vote for someone without proper research about who or what they are voting for.Good analysis of a key point from Writer B. Secondly, social media trends such as tiktok can influence people to vote for someone because apperantly every one else does or doesn't leading to the ourcome being affected.Another good point, explained well with a modern example. Although, most opinions affect youngs people's futures directly such as inflasion, global warming, education and rising state levels that old people never had to suffer.This is a good point, but it's not clear if you are analysing Writer A or giving your own opinion. You need to make it clear you are explaining the other writer's argument.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view.
Your analysis of Writer B's arguments is strong and well-supported with modern examples.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You need to make it clear that your final paragraph is an analysis of Writer A's argument, not just your own opinion.
Your answer is not fully balanced; your analysis of Writer B is much more detailed.
You are missing a conclusion where you weigh the two arguments and make a final judgement.

Next Steps: Make sure you introduce the other side of the argument clearly. For example: "On the other hand, Writer A argues that..." This will give your essay better structure and balance. Always finish with a conclusion.

Projected Grade: 5/12 - Good analysis of one source, but lacks balance and a conclusion.

4410 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 8/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer A because young people deserve a voice since they can pay taxes, work and some can drive on the road they are making adult descions already.A good start, stating your view and accurately summarising the key arguments from Writer A. Most of the people that vote are old and miserable and don't care who it will impact since they are too old.This is a good point, but it's your own opinion. Try to link it more closely to the source's argument about 'long-term consequences'. Younger people deserve because its about there future there voting for not leave it in the hands of people who don't care or even do research.Good analysis of the 'long-term consequences' argument. Although, writer B does make some valid points about young people being influenced by the media and celebrity opinions.Excellent - you are now showing balance by analysing the counter-argument from the other source. That is false some 16 years olds may be stupid and follow them but actually most of them are educated.This is a good evaluative point where you challenge Writer B's argument. However, it's a bit of a sweeping generalisation.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear structure and analyse arguments from both sources.
You show some good evaluation by challenging the points made by Writer B.
You understand the key arguments of the debate.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Some of your points are based on your own opinion and generalisations (e.g., "most of them are educated"). Try to base your evaluation more on logic or specific evidence.
You are missing a conclusion to weigh the two arguments and make a final judgement.

Next Steps: Your evaluative instincts are good. To make them stronger, try to use more evidence-based arguments. For example, instead of saying "most of them are educated," you could say "Writer B's argument is weaker because it stereotypes all 16-year-olds, failing to recognise that many are politically engaged and informed."

Projected Grade: 8/12 - A well-structured answer with good evaluation, though some points could be stronger.

6789 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 4/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with Sarah Williams because it is true that alot of kids & teenager are influence by social media making thier view change.A clear start stating your view and identifying a key argument. Another reason why I support Sarah Williams is because teenagers dont use to do what adults do for example pay rent, raise children and go to work.Good analysis of the 'real-world experience' argument. This is important because according to Alex chan 16 year old should be able to work pay rent and vote, however this will give 16 year old in school a hard time as they have school.This is a very confused section. You are mixing up the arguments from both sources and adding your own opinions about school. On the other hand I believe with Alex chan that 16 year old should be able to work however it should be little work time like 3-4 hours as they have school.This is your own opinion and a suggested solution, not an analysis of the source text.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view.
Your analysis of Sarah Williams's arguments is clear and well-explained.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have misunderstood and confused the arguments made by Alex Chen.
Your answer relies heavily on your own opinions rather than analysing what the sources say.
The structure is poor and there is no conclusion.

Next Steps: You must focus on accurately explaining the arguments from the text. Read the source for Writer A carefully again and write a paragraph explaining his key points (long-term consequences, paying taxes) before giving your own opinion.

Projected Grade: 4/12 - A one-sided answer that misunderstands the second source and relies on opinion.

4394 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 9/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer A. This due to many excellent points he has made in contrast to writer B.A good, clear start to your answer. One of these would be that at 16 you can work pay taxes and even vote in certain elections.Excellent analysis of the 'taxation without representation' argument. This shows that young people should have a voice in political as they have somewhat experienced the real world. He also stated that younger people are more in touch with political issues more than adults who dont bother researching. I also hold this belief as adults aren't that much in touch with political issues and what goes on behind the scenes.This is a good point, but it's your own opinion. To make it stronger, frame it as an evaluation of the source. However, I can somewhat understand Sarah Williams' opinion this is due to the fact that 16 year olds make up a big percentage of people and a lot of them can be immature.Perfect - you are now showing a balanced argument by fairly analysing the counter-viewpoint. This would lead to people on social media attempting to sway them into voting for who they want.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear, balanced structure and analyse arguments from both sources.
Your analysis is detailed and shows you understand the key points of the debate.
You have started to bring in your own knowledge to support the arguments.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have a perfect foundation for a top-level essay. The only thing it's missing is a conclusion.
In your conclusion, you need to weigh the two arguments against each other and explain why Writer A's points are more convincing to you, despite the valid concerns raised by Writer B.

Next Steps: You are on track for a top mark. To finish this answer, write a conclusion that starts: "In conclusion, while Sarah Williams raises a valid concern about the immaturity of some teenagers, I agree more with Writer A. His argument that those who contribute to society through taxes deserve a voice is a fundamental democratic principle that outweighs the potential risks."

Projected Grade: 9/12 - A strong, well-structured, and well-analysed answer that just needs a conclusion.

4423 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 7/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with Writer A, Alex Chen, moreA good, clear start. because although experience in democracy is important as it will define how organised our government will be however giving young people a voice is also important.This is a nuanced opening that acknowledges both sides before stating a preference. It could teach them at a young age how to speak out and use their voice productivly in a powerful manner.Good analysis of a key argument from Writer A. Aswell as this it also educates them about the political world and country that they live under and how it's run. A nother reason is because it helps government to know what younger generations political views are. One might argue otherwise because if people in government have little to no experience on what is a democracy is then they can't really be trusted to run the country.Excellent - you are now bringing in the counter-argument from the other source to create a balanced argument. because if people/citizens are unhappy with who is in political power, it could act as a push factor and cause people to leave and the country will become unattractive to foreigners.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear structure and analyse arguments from both sides.
You explain the arguments in your own words, showing you understand them well.
You use your own reasoning to expand on the points made in the sources.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have analysed the sources well. The next step is to add more direct evaluation.
You need a conclusion that weighs the two arguments against each other and explains why Writer A's points are more convincing to you. For example, is it more important to give people a voice early, or to ensure they are experienced?

Next Steps: You have a solid foundation. The key to getting top marks is the conclusion. Make sure your final paragraph directly compares the two arguments and makes a clear, reasoned judgement.

Projected Grade: 7/12 - A well-structured answer with good analysis. Needs evaluation and a conclusion.

7898 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 4/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer AlexA clear start stating your view. because I believe that young people do not have a say in anything that goes on or decision political stuff. Alex also states that "Young people deserve a much stronger voice in how our country is run."Good use of a quote to support your point. including that fact that at 16 you can work, pay taxes. But still the politicians would not take the young people seriously even tho they will not be living with the long-term consequences of their choices such as climate change.This is a good point, but it's more of your own opinion. Try to focus on explaining what the sources say. Making the youger generation have to deal with it. I also would like to state that the voting age should be lowered to 16 because of their social media which gives...

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view.
You have correctly identified some of the key arguments from Writer A.
You use quotes from the text.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Your answer is one-sided. For a 12-mark question, you MUST analyse the arguments from the other source (Writer B) as well.
The answer relies heavily on your own opinions rather than explaining the points in the text.

Projected Grade: 4/12 - A one-sided answer that fails to engage with the second source.

4375 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 6/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer A - Alex Chen the most. I agree with him because he supports young people having a voice.A clear start stating your view. Some 16 year olds are irresponsible but the majority are not.This is a good point, but it's your own opinion rather than analysis of the source. The government has ever so already given them many responsibilites such as being able to work, paying taxes and voting in some elections.Good analysis of key points from Writer A. Sarah argues that the menimum voting age of 18 makes sense because they now have many responsibilities.Good - you are now bringing in the other source to create a balanced argument. I have written 16 year olds also do aswell.This is a good evaluative point, but it's not written in a clear sentence. She also talks about them having a voice with school council etc but that might not be already.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view and analyse arguments from both sources.
You have started to evaluate the arguments by directly comparing them.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

The answer relies too much on your own opinions. You need to focus more on explaining what the writers argue in the text.
Your sentence structure is sometimes poor, which makes your points unclear.
You need to add a conclusion that weighs the two arguments and explains your final judgement.

Next Steps: Focus on writing in clear, full sentences. For every point you make, try to support it with a quote or a specific idea from the source text. This will make your analysis stronger.

Projected Grade: 6/12 - A reasonable start with some evaluation, but needs to focus more on the text and improve clarity.

4500 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 8/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer B moreA good start, stating your view. because while young peoples opinions are important they dont have as much experience which could cause a mistake to happen. For example a 16 year old hasn't experienced paying taxes or running a businessExcellent analysis, using specific examples from the source to make your point. which could cause them not really knowing what they're voting for. On the other hand some people would argue that 16 years old have the most important say as its their future and they get to decid what change will happen.Perfect - you are now showing a balanced argument by explaining the main point from Writer A clearly and accurately.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have an excellent, balanced structure that analyses both sides of the argument clearly.
Your analysis is strong and well-supported by examples from the text.
Your writing is clear and easy to follow.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have done a perfect job of analysing the two sources. The only thing missing is the evaluation.
You need to add a concluding paragraph where you weigh the two arguments against each other. Explain *why* you believe Writer B's concern about "experience" is more important than Writer A's point about the "future".

Next Steps: You are on track for a top mark. To finish this answer, write a conclusion that starts: "In conclusion, I agree more with Writer B. While it is true that young people have a stake in the future, Writer B's argument is stronger because making uninformed decisions due to a lack of experience could damage that future, which is a far greater risk."

Projected Grade: 8/12 - An excellent and well-structured analysis that just needs an evaluative conclusion.

4579 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 4/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer B the most as people with little experience should not vote.A clear start stating your view. This is because they wouldn't be able to understand the governments who are fighting and may just vote randomly. Another reason I agree with writer B is because the kids now a days are adicted to social media so they might just be influenced by social mediaGood analysis of a key argument from Writer B. and not vote for who they want to vote for. However some people may choose writer A as they want young people to learn.This is a very simplistic summary of Writer A's argument. You need to explain his key points in more detail.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view.
Your analysis of Writer B's arguments is clear and well-explained.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Your analysis of Writer A is extremely brief and does not mention any of his key arguments (taxes, long-term consequences). Your answer is therefore very one-sided.
You are missing a conclusion where you make a final judgement.

Next Steps: To get a higher mark, you must provide a balanced argument. You need to add more detail to your analysis of Writer A, explaining his main points fairly. Then you need to add a conclusion explaining why you still find Writer B more convincing.

Projected Grade: 4/12 - A one-sided answer with very weak analysis of the second source.

4443 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 8/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with Writer A more.A good start, stating your view. This is due to the fact that Alex clearly states what a young (16) person can do like work, pay taxes and vote in some elections.Good summary of the key arguments from Writer A. However the point he is making is that 16 year olds should be able to vote instead of it being 18 year olds. This could mean more teens get involved and determine the way our civilisation is ran from here on. I disagree with Sarah (Writer 2) as teens may take an interest in politics and go into college/university to help strengthen their knowledge and understanding.This is an excellent piece of evaluation. You are using your own logical argument to directly challenge the claims made by Writer B.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view.
You analyse the arguments from Writer A well.
You show strong evaluation skills by using a logical counter-argument to challenge Writer B.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Your analysis of Writer B is very brief. You challenge her argument without first explaining what it is. A balanced answer must explain both sides fairly.
You are missing a conclusion to summarise your final judgement.

Next Steps: Your evaluation is great. To improve, add more detail to your analysis of Writer B. Explain her arguments about 'experience' and 'influence' before you explain why you think she is wrong. This will make your answer more balanced and score higher marks.

Projected Grade: 8/12 - A strong and evaluative answer, but the analysis of the second source is underdeveloped.

9876 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 10/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

Although others may agree with writer a, I however agree with writer b,A very strong and academic start to your essay. this is because lowering the voting age to teenagers could result in serious regrets and mistakes. Writer b make this clear when they stated "young people may be influenced by social media trends rather than carefully researching policies?".Excellent analysis. You've selected a quote and then clearly explained its significance. This shows that even though social media is known for a place of answers, what young people watch could influence a bias decision. Additionally it is known that our current system already gives young people appropriate ways to participate such as through school councils, youth parliment and more.This is a great point from the source, well-analysed. I believe this is fair as the minimum age to voting is 18 which is the legal age of becoming an adult, this allows you to already have the knowledge of politics and life experience. However others may disaggree with this claim as they believe that young people deserve a stronger voice.Perfect - you are now showing a balanced argument by analysing the counter-viewpoint.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have an excellent, balanced structure that analyses both sides of the argument clearly.
Your writing is formal, confident, and analytical.
You show a deep understanding of the key arguments from both sources.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

This is an outstanding start and is on track for a top grade.
You just need to add a concluding paragraph that makes a final judgement. You need to explain *why* Writer B's argument about experience and existing participation is more convincing to you than Writer A's argument for a stronger voice.

Next Steps: You have the perfect foundation for a top mark. Your conclusion should start: "In conclusion, I agree more with Writer B. While Writer A is right to say young people deserve a voice, Writer B's argument is stronger because she correctly points out that there are already many ways for young people to participate, and the right to vote should be reserved for those with the legal status and life experience of an adult."

Projected Grade: 10/12 - An outstanding start with excellent structure and analysis.

4529 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 2/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer A because the person is trying to explain that makesure people's real voices are heard.A clear start stating your view. For an example I personally belive that elections should be informed to people. Also young people around the society voice should be heard because to try understanding their perspective. Writer B thinks that young people should have the oportunity and to deyse if the government should give them chance to vote.This is a misinterpretation of Writer B's argument. She argues AGAINST giving them the chance to vote. I think that also that young people should spend time reaserching more than being on social media, and they will face conseqences.This is mostly your own opinion. You need to focus on explaining the arguments from the text.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view.
You understand the basic point of Writer A.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have misunderstood the argument made by Writer B. You must read the sources carefully.
Your answer is mostly your own opinion rather than an analysis of the text.
The structure is poor and there is no conclusion.

Next Steps: The most important skill is to read the sources carefully to make sure you understand what each writer is saying. Your answer must be based on their arguments. Try to use quotes from the text to help you stay focused.

Projected Grade: 2/12 - A very simple answer that misunderstands one of the sources.

4502 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 3/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I belive that Writer A is the one to agree with because its telling us there even is to were young people...This sentence is very difficult to understand. Clarity is essential for getting marks. the youth educatd system since powlitics conncily or council desicion about eduoal, you servce an future jobs and young people are doing the jobs.This is a list of words from the topic, but it is not a clear analysis of the source. However on our there hase people can say their choice be canse young people are inattentive.You seem to be trying to bring in the counter-argument here, which is good, but the writing is very unclear.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You are trying to engage with ideas from both sides of the argument.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Your answer is almost entirely incomprehensible due to very poor spelling, grammar, and sentence structure.
You do not clearly explain any of the arguments from the source texts.

Note: To get marks, the examiner must be able to understand what you are trying to say. You need to focus on writing clear, simple sentences.

Improved Section:

I agree with Writer A. He argues that young people should have a voice in politics. One of his reasons is that young people will have to live with the consequences of decisions made today.This is a short, simple, and clear sentence that makes one point. Practice writing like this.

Next Steps: Your main priority is to improve your basic sentence writing. Work with your teacher on spelling and grammar. You cannot get marks if your work cannot be understood.

Projected Grade: 3/12 - A very confusing and poorly written answer that fails to make any clear points.

4532 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 7/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree strongly with Writer B since some percentage of young children haven't experienced some of life's day to day struggles which politics directly affect.A clear start, stating your view and accurately summarising the key argument from Writer B. The youth don't pay tax, green a business or even raising children. I believe the political boundaries are set for a righteous purpose since the voting age of 18 aligns with financial responsibility and signing contracts.Excellent analysis. You are using your own knowledge to develop and support the source's argument about the significance of the age of 18. However, experience can be gained and seen as an example as to what parliament might look like if it were run by the youth through school councils, youth parliament and campaign groups.This is a very good point, but you have presented it as a point *for* Writer B, when it is actually a point made *by* Writer B to show that young people already have a voice. Be careful with your phrasing. This responsibility could give them an insight of the political world.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have a clear point of view.
Your analysis of Writer B's argument is excellent and very well-developed with your own knowledge.
You are thinking critically about the issues.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

Your answer is one-sided. For a 12-mark question, you MUST analyse the arguments from the other source (Writer A) as well.
You have slightly misinterpreted the point about school councils.
You are missing a conclusion.

Next Steps: You have an excellent analysis of one side of the argument. To get top marks, you must now add a paragraph explaining the arguments from Writer A (e.g., about long-term consequences) before writing a conclusion that explains why you find Writer B's arguments more persuasive.

Projected Grade: 7/12 - An excellent and well-developed analysis of one source, but needs to be balanced.

4383 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 9/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with Sarah Williams, this is because personally I think young people are not prepared and are not ready for political decisions etc.A good, clear start stating your position. whereas Alex Chen could argue that young people do need a real voice and should be allowed to vote, there are examples of young people protesting for example, climate change.Excellent - you are immediately showing a balanced view by introducing the counter-argument. the young people are the ones that are going to be facing the harsh conditions like extremely hot weather, rising sea levels, yet when they try to protest or have a say, instead of getting listened to they are polished and dismissed.This is a fantastic, detailed analysis of Writer A's argument, showing deep understanding. Sarah Williams could argue to this statement because polotics is a very hard job including lots of complex decisions like economics international relations and many more.Another great piece of direct comparison between the two arguments.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have an excellent, balanced structure that constantly compares the two arguments.
Your analysis of the sources is detailed and shows you understand the nuances of the debate.
You are thinking evaluatively throughout the response.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have created the perfect foundation for a top-level answer. The only thing missing is a final concluding paragraph.
Your conclusion needs to weigh the two arguments you have so clearly explained and make a final judgement on which one is more convincing, and why.

Next Steps: This is a very high-level start. Your conclusion should summarise your judgement. For example: "In conclusion, while Alex Chen's point about young people facing future consequences is powerful, I ultimately agree with Sarah Williams. Her argument that politics is too complex for inexperienced minds is more persuasive, as poor decisions made now could create even worse consequences for the future."

Projected Grade: 9/12 - A very strong, balanced, and evaluative answer that just needs a conclusion.

4508 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 2/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with writer B because it is very important for voting as a raising an a lowrine campain.You have stated which writer you agree with, but the rest of the answer is very difficult to understand.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You have directly answered the first part of the question by choosing a writer.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

The answer is extremely brief and does not explain any arguments from either of the sources.
The writing is very unclear, making it impossible to understand your reasoning.

Next Steps: You need to go back to the source text and find the reasons why Writer B thinks the voting age should not be lowered. Try to explain one of her reasons in a full, clear sentence. For example: "Writer B argues that teenagers do not have enough life experience."

Projected Grade: 2/12 - An extremely brief answer that does not engage with the source material.

4473 - Candidate: N/A - Projected Grade: 10/12

Which writer do you agree with most? Explain your answer referring to arguments made in both parts of the source

Student Response:

I agree with Sarah ShemkusA clear start, stating your view. because people in prison do not have some sort of distraction to keep them from continuing to do bad things.Good analysis of a key argument from the source. For example, working in the kitchen. If someone used to love cooking before they came imprisioned, then working in the kitchen could make them feel more calm and distracted from making anymore problems.This is a great piece of analysis where you use your own example to explain the logic of the source's argument. People working in prison could also make them develop new skills they could use when they are reclosed. Although I do agree with Helen Brown Coverdale says "because in her view it says, 'people are sent to prison as punishment not for punishment'."Excellent - you are now showing balance by bringing in a key philosophical argument from the other source. People still deserve to have some sort of humane lifestyle instead of being kept in prison.This is a good point that links to Coverdale's argument about not losing sight of prisoners as people.

Detailed Feedback

✅ Strengths (What you have started well)

You analyse arguments from both sources and have a clear point of view.
You use your own examples to explain the points, which shows good understanding.
You have identified the crucial philosophical point from Coverdale's argument.

🔄 How to complete the answer for a top grade

You have done a great job analysing both sides. To get into the top marks, you need to add a concluding paragraph.
In your conclusion, you must weigh the two arguments against each other and explain *why* you find Shemkus's practical arguments about distraction and skills more convincing than Coverdale's philosophical points.

Next Steps: This is a very strong start. To finish, write a conclusion that states your final judgement clearly. For example: "In conclusion, although Coverdale makes an important point about the purpose of punishment, I agree more with Shemkus. This is because her focus on practical skills and distraction is more likely to lead to the rehabilitation of prisoners and a safer society."

Projected Grade: 10/12 - A strong, well-structured and balanced answer that is just missing a conclusion.